Robert Redford Isn't the Only Horse Whisperer

This is too hilarious to be made up. All names and contact info have been changed, As Lulu and I fear she can sense our action and may punish us rightly for posting her absurdity.

---------------------------------------------------------------

i am new to XXXX and will be living here for the summer and fall
months this year. miriam has very kindly offered to forward this
email to all of you to allow me to introduce myself to you and the
work that i do.

my name is susie mcsusersan. i am a animal communicator and life
healing coach. as a animal communicator, i talk with domestic,
farm, and wild animals using telepathic communication. because the
conversations are telepathic, i do not need to be in the presence of
the animal, and do most of my work on the telephone. i am always
happy to do a consultation in person if someone lives near me. i
have a conversation with the animal on your behalf. the questions i
ask are your questions, providing you with information about
everything from their quirky or problem behaviors to their health
and quality of life issues. positive change is all about gaining
mutual understanding, negotiating expectations, and love, love,
love. my consultation fee is $50 for anything up to one hour and
then $1 a minute after the first hour. i may be reached at this
email address, crazyloon@moonbats.com , or by phone at
774-555-9393 (cell phone). i would be happy to answer any questions
you may have about my work. as a life healing coach, i help women
who are in transition, or are seeking change, to access their inner
spiritual resources to create a more satisfying and joy filled
life. i do this by energetically scanning your emotional body,
identifying your present challenges and places of flow in your life,
and then help you to move into your spiritual body to find lasting
healing. my consultation fee for coaching is $75. this includes
one hour to do the scan followed by a one and a half hour meeting
with you. i may be reached at the above address and phone number if
you have any questions, or would like to schedule a consultation.

thank you to everyone for welcoming me into the community.
in peace and gratitude