Scooter and Lulu On Deck to Serve at the Pleasure of the President

White House spokesman Tony Snow announced today that he will be off the job for a few weeks while he has a growth removed from his abdomen. Snow battled colon cancer in 2005, but his doctors do not believe this growth is a reoccurrence. Nonetheless, they are taking extra precautions and treating the development aggressively.

We wish Tony Snow the very best as he recovers from surgery. To lighten his load a bit, Scooter and Lulu would like to offer to fill in for him as White House spokesman while he recuperates. Given our extensive background in investigatory journalism, our insatiable desire for truth, and our undying admiration of America's free press, we think we would be just the team to take on this enormous responsibility. Since none of the qualities we just mentioned really matter in the job of White House spokesperson, we are also willing to learn a few card tricks, breakdancing moves, or whatever is needed to distract the kiddies until somebody who actually knows how to doublespeak can step in.

Dubya, you've got our number if you are interested in our offer (or you could just break in on the line since I'm sure our phones are tapped) and Tony, feel better soon. We'll miss you while you are away!

Scooter Libby: Still Guilty

If you were watching Brit Hume yesterday, you might be a little confused about whether or not Scooter Libby was actually convicted of two counts of perjury, one count of obstructing justice in a grand jury investigation, and one count of making false statements to federal investigators. We are here to tell you that he was in fact convicted, he does in fact face prison time, and he is NOT the Scooter that writes this awesome blog. All I can think is that FOX NEWS makes up their fair and balanced graphics in some sort of magical fantasy design studio and assume that they live in a world where if they put it on the air, it becomes true. That might have worked for the 2000 Presidential Election, but it isn't going to help the other Scooter avoid the clink.

*Thanks to Howlingjay for the tip!