Andres Serrano was a friend of mine. Glenn Beck, you are no Andres Serrano

What a handsome, clever boy you are Glenn! And your successes since leaving Fox News have been manyfold. Every time an ad for your channel shows up on the side bar of a questionable live-streaming website I'm on, I think to myself "this guy is GOING PLACES!" And man did ol' Glenn push the envelope the other day when he submerged an Obama bobblehead into a mason jar of off-colored "urine". I haven't seen that much pee since college when my lab mate managed to drink a whole 2-liter bottle of diet 7-up and nearly overflowed the graduated cylinder for an experiment that was later deemed a human health hazard. Now, I literally got goosepimples and my hair stood on end when Glenn donned a faux French accent and said "I like to call this 'Flobama'," then confusingly re-titled his artwork "Obama in Pee Pee." Très magnifique!

Glenn then elegantly juxtaposed his artwork with the portrayals of Islam's Prophet Muhammad, and Michael D'Antuono's "Truth" which combines the imagery of the embattled, tortured, innocent Christ on the cross with that of president Obama, pointing out the hypocrisy in the reaction of the Muslim world. Sure, some public complaint led D'Antuono's work to be shown at a Boston community college instead of in a NYC gallery (read: the civilized route), but a unified reaction by the Muslim world and beyond to the portrayal of their Prophet as a pedophile, a terrorist, or an adulterer…wellsir, that might as well be a terror act unto itself.

One thing that gets me is the basic ordinal math of this. Beck is basing his argument on the logical assumption that a defacement of Christ = defacement of Muhammad. And that his defacement of Obama = a defacement of Christ. So is he elevating Obama to the level of a deity, or is he cutting down two deities of some of the world's major religions to that of a mortal—albeit powerful—man?

Glenn, if you're reading this, please respond ASAP. Our cell number is (301) 588-900. Call us anytime!