Sturgeon General's Warning

A 23-year old Florida man sustained minor injuries recently after being whacked off his jet-ski by a flying 4-foot-long sturgeon. Apparently, this happens once or twice a year on the Suwannee River where the sturgeon can grow up to 8 feet in length and weigh up to 200 lbs.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission are calling this an accident, but I would argue that if it is happening twice a year, you don't have "accidents", you have a pattern of injury and destruction. My guess is that the fish have finally gotten fed up with the pollution (both water and noise) that PWCs bring to their neighborhoods and they have decided to issue a little warning: Boaters Beware.

Apparently those sturgeon need a little reminder of who's the boss apple sauce. My suggestion for Floridian Boaters looking to establish their oceanic dominance would be a little something the Japanese call "Dynamite Fishing". I won't go into details here since I'm pretty sure it is a violation of about 10 international laws and treaties, but in all honesty, should humans have to worry about pissed off fish knocking them off of their jet-skis when we are trying to use their habitat for a good time? I think not.