The Little Mermaid, A Little Judgmental

Mattel’s Little Mermaid Shimmering Lights Ariel doll is coming under fire today as a California mother slings accusations that her daughter’s doll called the child a slut. In addition to saying things like “Your sparkles are so beautiful” and “Life is the Bubbles” (whatever that means), the mother claims that while her daughter was messing with Ariel’s buttons, she heard the doll say “You’re a slut.” Mattel says that the culprit is more likely the mother’s imagination than the doll’s potty mouth.

Now, I don’t have kids, but it seems to me that a doll that teaches children words and phrases they’ll be able to use later in life is a good idea. No child will ever grow up and have to say “Life is the Bubbles” or compliment someone’s sparkles, “You’re a slut” really seems more useful when you put it into context. Maybe they could get Ariel to say other things like “You ruined my life you drunken bastard”, "You are such a disappointment", or “I snorted cocaine right before our wedding ceremony.” Isn’t the theory, practice makes perfect? I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get Scooter one of these for HannuChrisKwanzadan.