AstroNUTS: A Tale of Love Lost

I think NASA has the same guy who was in charge of “making sure we don’t lose the moon landing tapes” in charge of “screening the astronaut program for crazy people”.

Navy Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak was arrested on Monday and charged with battery, attempted kidnapping, attempted burglary to a vehicle, and destruction of evidence after she allegedly attacked a woman who was having a relationship with a man that Nowak was interested in. I should mention that Nowak is married with 3 kids and the man in question is not her husband…but he is a fellow astronaut! Nowak claims her relationship with Bill Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship." That smells like friendship to me, but Nowak saw it differently.

Police alleged that Nowak drove from Houston to Orlando to confront Colleen Shipman, Oefelein’s actual girlfriend, in the parking lot of the Orlando Airport. En route to Orlando, Nowak wore diapers to eliminate pit stops. When she arrived in Orlando, Nowak stalked Shipman (who had arrived by plane) to her car where she shot her in the face with pepper spray. Shipman was able to drive to a toll booth and contact the police who found Nowak disposing of a wig and a BB gun in a parking lot trash can.

What makes this story so OUT OF THIS WORLD (pun intended) is that it has astronauts behaving like Jerry Springer guests and that makes me feel better about myself! If an astronaut can wear diapers to avoid bathroom breaks when she heads out to attack her co-worker’s girlfriend, so can I!