GTB PSA #4: Grape Stomping Idiot

While investigating the latest NASAster (that's a NASA Disaster...it happens so often that I thought we should give it a name! This week's is the discovery that NASA let some drunk astronauts onto shuttle flights), I came across the clip of Beyonce falling down the stairs at her concert. I immediately called my sister out to watch it with me because it is AMAZING (click here soon...Beyonce is out to have every copy taken down). As we finished watching the Beyonce video, we both realized that there is only one video funnier than Beyonce going ass over tea kettle down a set of stairs, it is our favorite internet fall video of all time, GRAPE STOMPING IDIOT. That isn't the actual name, but if you google that, this video comes up. I highly recommend that you bookmark it because it maintains a full saturation of 100% hilarity every single time you watch it. Enjoy!

AstroNUTS: A Tale of Love Lost

I think NASA has the same guy who was in charge of “making sure we don’t lose the moon landing tapes” in charge of “screening the astronaut program for crazy people”.

Navy Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak was arrested on Monday and charged with battery, attempted kidnapping, attempted burglary to a vehicle, and destruction of evidence after she allegedly attacked a woman who was having a relationship with a man that Nowak was interested in. I should mention that Nowak is married with 3 kids and the man in question is not her husband…but he is a fellow astronaut! Nowak claims her relationship with Bill Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship." That smells like friendship to me, but Nowak saw it differently.

Police alleged that Nowak drove from Houston to Orlando to confront Colleen Shipman, Oefelein’s actual girlfriend, in the parking lot of the Orlando Airport. En route to Orlando, Nowak wore diapers to eliminate pit stops. When she arrived in Orlando, Nowak stalked Shipman (who had arrived by plane) to her car where she shot her in the face with pepper spray. Shipman was able to drive to a toll booth and contact the police who found Nowak disposing of a wig and a BB gun in a parking lot trash can.

What makes this story so OUT OF THIS WORLD (pun intended) is that it has astronauts behaving like Jerry Springer guests and that makes me feel better about myself! If an astronaut can wear diapers to avoid bathroom breaks when she heads out to attack her co-worker’s girlfriend, so can I!

One Giant "Whoops!" for Mankind

This one time, I popped in a VHS tape on which I had recorded a recent episode of “The Amazing Race”. As the picture appeared, I realized that the tape was actually my sister’s last ballet performance prior to the wild dog attack that left her in a wheelchair. A few seconds into the performance, the tape cuts to the opening of the Amazing Race. Ruh Roh! It turned out later that I hadn’t taped over the original, just a copy, but nonetheless, I still feel bad about it. That was until now. NASA just announced that for over a year, they have been unable to locate the 700 boxes of original tapes and recordings of the first (and subsequent 2^nd-5^th) moon landings. NASA is playing down the incident, saying they have back-ups of everything that was lost (and by back-ups they mean ‘we once played the moon landing tapes on a TV screen and videotaped the TV’. No. I’m not kidding. That is how NASA backs up data.)

The US Government really needs to come up with a form or something to keep better track of their stuff. First it is the moon landing tapes, then what, the Constitution? "Oh we haven't seen that in awhile! Somebody took it out of the archives and never brought it back. Until we find it, we're gonna make all decisions for the country based on this word scramble we got off the side of a Happy Meal box." There is a chance that this is already what is going on.