We Gon Sip Bacardi Like It's Your Birthday

What do Nancy Reagan, 50 Cent, Dubya, Sly Stallone, and Tia/Tamera Mowry have in common? Today is their birthday!! Since (barring the whole Nancy/Dubya Presidency connection), they have absolutely nothing in common, I thought I would find out what the stars say are in store for them today:

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Thursday, July 6 - What's with all the self-doubt you've been battling lately? Today there's no room for it (and no need for it!). Your thoughts are not only valid, they're also correct! Look around you. You know you're the smartest person in the room, so why not just admit it? There's nothing wrong with speaking the truth, so open your mouth and reveal it. If you take control, no one is going to mind. In fact, people are eager to hear what you have to say -- and to follow your directions to the letter.

Oh Crap. We are totally going to war with North Korea. Good news is…this is the horoscope from the Washington Post and I’m sure Dubya doesn’t read that liberal rag.

To the rest of the party people…Nancy, thanks for telling us to “Just Say No To Drugs”. 50, thanks for showin’ us it is possible to get shot 9 times and live on to produce quality tunes like “Candy Shop”. Sly Stallone, I’ve never understood a single thing you have said. Tia/Tamera, I thought you were dead after “Sister Sister” ended, but according to the website where I found your birthday, you’ve been on some Lifetime show…keep up the good work?