A Sunny Beautiful Winter...Brought to You By Global Warming

Bad news. This week the Supreme Court is hearing a case brought against the EPA by 12 States, a slew of big cities, and at least a dozen environmental groups. The States, et al. (spearheaded by Massachusetts) are attempting to force the EPA to regulate Carbon Dioxide emissions from automobiles. It is their belief that Carbon Dioxide contributes to “Global Warming” by being the main “greenhouse gas”. The United States, with about 4.5% of the world’s population, accounts for 25% of the world’s "greenhouse gas" emissions. This would be a problem if "greenhouse gases" were doing something awful like selling toys that kill children or threatening the livelihood of the entire planet. Which they aren’t. “Global Warming” is liberal junk science.*

The government will argue that “the EPA should not be required to “embark on the extraordinarily complex and scientifically uncertain task of addressing the global issue of greenhouse gas emissions” when other ways are available to tackle climate change.”

I for one agree with the Bush administration. Why should the Environmental Protection Agency be charged with the really tough job of protecting the environment? Especially since 75% of the problem comes from the other 95.5% of the world’s population. Why is everyone always asking US to clean up THEIR mess? Rather than give up our cars, which clearly we need to get around, why don’t we try some of the other “ways available to tackle climate change”? Maybe some sort of Earth cooling ray or world-wide dry ice distribution? If things are getting too hot for people in India and Africa, we could send them to live on the Russian Space Station, Mir, or to Antarctica which has real potential to transform from a huge ugly mass of ice to a possibly fabulous vacation destination spot! See, all of these good ideas and none of them require sacrifice from me.

I would also like to point out that it is a balmy 70 degrees here outside of D.C. today and I enjoyed a really nice walk on my lunch break. Thanks Global Warming! Those hippies in Massachusetts should stick to what they know best, gay marriage.

*It is not. There is a 99% chance the planet is going to die and I am terrified.