Rosie O'Donnell And Donald Trump Engage in Mature Adult Cat Fight

Everybody knows that Miss USA was drinking and doing coke and making out with Miss Teen USA at clubs. Old story, but maybe something hilarious has come of all of the wasted “News” coverage. That hilarious thing is the schoolyard fight going on between Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump. They are both talking so much trash in so many places that it is hard to keep track. So for you our GTB readers, I have gone through the various reports and composed the fight as it would have happened if Rosie and The Donald had run into each other on an actual playground:

Rosie: Because [your] show ‘The Apprentice' is starting again in January, [you] held a big press conference to see if [you were] going to allow Miss USA, such a prestigious title. It's basically a model competition . . . They have one question in Miss USA, yeah and they're like ‘I'd like to cure cancer and end world hunger – and then I'd like to go to Studio 54 and do some crack.' [You’re] the moral authority? Left the first wife - had an affair. Left the second wife - had an affair. . . . But [you’re] the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America. Donald, sit and spin, my friend!

The Donald: You'd better be careful or I'll send one of my friends over to take your girlfriend! I imagine it would be pretty easy to take [your] girlfriend away, considering how [you] look. [You are] totally out of control. I'm worth billions of dollars, and I have to listen to this fat slob?

There was more of Donald calling Rosie a fatso and a failure and ugly and talking about sending his “friends to take her girlfriend” (which sounds a LOT like kidnapping), then Rosie called Donald a glorified “snake-oil salesman”. Now Donald is going to sue Rosie. They both suck and I hate ‘The View’ and frankly ‘The Apprentice’ has been sliding downhill for years. If the two of them got together and had a show where they wrestled each other in pudding, it might actually help their respective images.

*Sorry for a post that is D-list celebrity gossip and all quotes by other people but let’s be honest, I can’t come up with anything half as intelligent as the venom Rosie and the Donald have been spewing at each other.