Tall Man, Long Arms, Big Heart

I know you NPR junkies are demanding more "hard-hitting news" from the GTB, but you will be glad that I ignore you when you hear this story. The "World's Tallest Man" was recently brought in to save the lives of 2 dolphins in China. The dolphins had eaten a whole bunch of plastic and conventional veterinary tools had failed at removing the life-threatening blockage from their stomachs. Somebody got the bright idea to call in the "World's Tallest Man" to see if he could do the job. Bao Xishun, a herdsman, stands at 7 feet and 9 inches with arms that stretch 41.7 inches in length. Bao was able to snake his arm down the dolphins' throats and remove the plastic from their stomachs, saving their lives and making him a hero.

See, now was that so bad? Are you really that angry that you kicked off your day reading this heartwarming story of personal triumph and courage? Do you wish that the world's tallest man was a senator who had made out with the dolphins instead of saving their lives? Why do you hate tall people and aqautic mammals? You should be ashamed.