That's an Actual Job?!?

InTouch Weekly is reporting that after his alleged suicide attempt Owen Wilson's family and friends were demanding that he head straight to rehab. Wilson doesn't think he needs to go and instead has hired a "sober companion" at a cost of $750 a day.

You mean to tell me that there are people who get paid $750 a day to not be drunk or high on drugs? Has Hollywood really gone so nuts that if you want to be around someone who isn't coked out you have to pay them $274,000 a year? I could understand if you had to say, keep Britney out of the Taco Bell or keep Senator Craig out of the Men's bathroom, but if all you have to do is keep yourself not intoxicated, yeah, that sounds pretty much like a cake walk. Where do I sign up? I'm available for sober companionship 9-5 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and every other Thursday.