HOT TIPS!

• UNITED KINGDOM -- Two women were arrested for trying to smuggle the corpse of their dead relative onto a flight to Berlin. The women put the 91-year old man in a wheelchair, added some sunglasses and tried to board. They were arrested on charges of "suspicion of failure to give notification of death". Who even knew that was a crime...and who even knew there are people who watch Weekend at Bernie's and think "that is a good idea." I guess it IS possible they saw Weekend at Bernie's II.
  
  
• SAN DIEGO, CA -- Drunk Man Steals Ambulance, Leads Slow Chase...I just liked the article title which really tells the whole story.
  
  
• FULTON, MS -- I was going to award this story the Tara-ble Idea Award, but I decided that award is more for sheer stupidity as opposed to a total lack of human decency. Parents and students at a High School in Fulton, Mississippi threw a fake prom to avoid having to include a lesbian couple and a group of students with learning disabilities. Yeah, that just happened. To top this doozy with a cherry, they don't seem to see anything wrong with that. Wow.
  
  
• I DON'T KNOW...KENTUCKY??-- To clean the fake prom nasty out of our mouths...KFC has confirmed that they will soon deliver to restaurants nationwide...the Double Down (being gamblers, we like the name...and gambling with the stability of our vital organs!). What is it you might ask? Besides being amazing it is "two slabs of fried chicken holding together two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce". If you can't picture it, it is a bacon and cheese sandwich where the bun has been replaced with fried chicken. The Nutritional info is actually, not as bad as one would expect...540 calories, 32 grams of fat.

Triumphant Return of the GTB Mirrors the Triumphant Return of GTB Hero The Hoff

We don't know how we missed this, but we did so here it goes! David Hasselhoff has announced that he will soon begin filming an as yet untitled reality TV Show about his life. Citing “creative unfulfillment” in his position as a judge on the hit series America’s Got Talent, The Hoff has signed a 10-episode deal with A&E to star in a show that chronicles his attempt to break his daughters into the recording industry.

At first we were concerned about the amount of stress that this would place on the GTB’s Musical and Theatrical Muse/Inspiration/Hero given his recent (and let’s be honest here…ongoing) battle with alcoholism. Then we remembered that this is the man who single-handedly unified Germany (and tore down the Berlin Wall using only awesome music and hip gyration) and rescued Hobie (who’s hair now looks like this by the way) and his love interest from an electric eel using only a defibrillator and his BARE HANDS*. He’ll be fine, but somebody should probably make a note to craft services “No Jack Daniels. No Cheeseburgers.” (We assume you still get a Craft Services Table when you star in a reality show…otherwise, nobody would ever film them).

Congratulations The Hoff. We cannot WAIT to watch!

*THANK YOU YOUTUBE FOR EXISTING and providing this clip. It is worth every minute you will spend watching it at work. Also a big shout out to Baywatch for naming this episode “Eel Nino” and making it easy to find!

**Thanks to Leslie for the tip!

Contrary to What you Might Think...

Scooter and Lulu are not dead. We have been on the road but should be back to you with more Good Times as soon as today! Don't stop loving us just because we love marathons and our jobs more than you!

Puppies and Rainbows,

Scooter and Lulu

Strange Coincidence

Have you ever been in such a hurry to get to the saucy content of the GTB that you typed our address in wrong? I did once and I stumbled upon something very interesting...THIS. At first, I thought that we had been hacked or booted off the internet completely. Then I realized that I just don't know how to type! At the time, I thought it would be nice to send you all a link to the other Scooter and Lulu, but I when I tried to get back to this magical URL, I couldn't find it.

Lucky for you, a GTB loyal reader also can't type and ended up there as well. She wrote me to ask if I knew the existence of our doppel-site and was able to send me a link to its exact super-secret location.

I think it is pretty fitting that if you transpose just 2 letters in the address of the GTB, you end up at Bible College Online. Both sites teach important moral lessons and trigger thought-provoking discussions. If you accidentally end up there one day, I suggest you spend a few minutes perusing the information provided, because if you ended up there instead of here, I bet it happened for a reason!

GTB PSA #4: Grape Stomping Idiot

While investigating the latest NASAster (that's a NASA Disaster...it happens so often that I thought we should give it a name! This week's is the discovery that NASA let some drunk astronauts onto shuttle flights), I came across the clip of Beyonce falling down the stairs at her concert. I immediately called my sister out to watch it with me because it is AMAZING (click here soon...Beyonce is out to have every copy taken down). As we finished watching the Beyonce video, we both realized that there is only one video funnier than Beyonce going ass over tea kettle down a set of stairs, it is our favorite internet fall video of all time, GRAPE STOMPING IDIOT. That isn't the actual name, but if you google that, this video comes up. I highly recommend that you bookmark it because it maintains a full saturation of 100% hilarity every single time you watch it. Enjoy!

GTB PSA #3 - Borat

Last night, Scooter and Lulu had the opportunity to attend the press screening of the movie Borat (Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan), the funniest movie we have ever seen.

Borat is the story of a Kazakh journalist Borat Sagdiyev who comes to America to make a documentary about American Culture for the Kazakhstan Ministry of Information. Borat and his producer Azamat Bagatov embark upon a cross-country journey to find Pamela Anderson, documenting the people they meet and the customs they witness along the way. Borat arrives in America with prejudices we didn’t even know existed and in his own incredibly offensive way, Borat uses these prejudices to expose bigotry in America.

In a country where we say homosexual and think fag, bigotry has become polite. By being so outlandishly prejudiced, Borat is able to evoke from ordinary Americans the terrible things they honestly believe and feel about the people around them. Borat drags American bigotry out into the sunlight for everybody to see (or to point and laugh at).

While some people may rise to defense of the population of Kazakhstan, I would say that the group(s) who should be most ashamed by their portrayal in this film are actually Americans. While the people of Kazakhstan are portrayed as poor and ignorant, the Americans who Borat meets and includes in his film come across as dirty bigots (for the most part) and to me that is so much worse. Borat’s bigotry is rooted in his inexperience with people who are different from himself. He comes to America, a country where people have every opportunity to learn about and appreciate the differences in the people around them, but never bother. In the end, Kazakhstan comes out looking pretty good.

This movie is so offensive it will make you cringe. But it will also make you laugh harder than you have ever laughed…maybe in your entire life. Maybe you can’t fight bigotry when it only shows itself around the dinner table and behind closed doors. Maybe you have to drag it out and laugh at its ridiculousness. Dzienkuje! (that's sort of Polish for Thank You!)