I Can't Say I Have Missed You Queen of The Harpies

The Queen of the Harpies has done it again! I've decided to stop calling her by her real name because somewhere there is a QOTH Googleganger that has been buried beneath the hatred and filth that this woman has brought to the world. So henceforth, she will only be known as QOTH.

QOTH was on "The Big Idea" with Donnie Deutsch" on Monday where she informed the host that it would be "alot easier if the Jews converted to Christianity". When Deutsch, a self-proclaimed "practicing Jew" pushed back and said her remarks were anti-Semitic, QOTH did a crappy job of backpedaling by offering the clarification that she only meant that "Christians consider themselves: Perfected Jews".

This is the perfect time to remind our readers of an article that QOTH wrote for the NRO on 9/13/2001. It closed with the following quote:

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war." -QOTH, NRO, 9/13/01

You are right Annie baby, Hitler was a terrible evil man, maybe even the worst man ever. Since I like history, here's a little flashback baby doll:

"Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator - by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord." - Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, 1925*

*Thanks to Dave and Carrie for both sending me the tip.

In Defense of the Indefensible

You may all be starting to wonder why it has now been four days since "Coultergate" broke out and we haven't commented on it. Well here we are to explain why we didn't comment on it by posting the following comment.

Oh and for those of you living under a rock that is buried under 12 feet of gravel that has then been covered in a foot of cement click here to see what the Coulter scandal is all about.

We originally decided not to post about Ann's speech because pointing out that Ann Coulter said something offensive is like pointing out that Lindsay Lohan has a "drinking problem." For those that aren't familiar with Ann's history, here's a brief blast from the past:

Last year at the very same CPAC conference our dear friend Ms. Coulter had this to say about Muslims:
"I think our motto should be, post-9-11, 'raghead talks tough, raghead faces consequences.'"
-CPAC, 2/10/06

Not enough?...shortly after that on MSNBC she had this to say about Al Gore:
"I don't know if he's [Bill Clinton] gay. But Al Gore -- total fag."

So my question then becomes, what was Ann doing speaking at this year's CPAC in the first place? In this most recent Coulter controversy, Conservatives have denounced Ann for her comments. Saying that this is not what conservatism is about. Even Michelle Malkin was not a fan of the comments. But again this is not the first offensive comment Ann has made and this is not the first time other conservatives have claimed "Ann doesn't speak for me."

When people tell me they are a conservative, I cringe inside a little bit. I get nervous. I get uncomfortable. I assume they hate me for who I am, for who I love. Could I be wrong? Absolutely. Should I feel this way? Of course not. I know I'm making assumptions, as I have conservative friends and family who love me.

So my question to conservatives is, if Ann doesn't speak for you, why do you let her speak for you so much? Nobody is saying the woman is not entitled to her opinion. Let her rant and rave on AnnCoulter.com (NSFW) as much as she wants. But every time she is paraded around at national conferences and on television as a voice of conservatism it adds to my belief that conservatives think of me as nothing more than a left-wing faggot. But those are just my two cents

-Scooter

Ann Coulter Under Investigation for Super Boring Reason

Ann Coulter might be going to jail. It turns out that she may have knowingly voted in the wrong precinct during a February 7^th, Palm Beach Town Council election (yes, it is an election nobody cares about). That’s a felony. Unfortunately, this probably won’t pan out and I’ll admit it is kind of a witch hunt, but…if it wears pointy shoes and bakes little children in pies*, you should probably throw it in the river to see if it can swim.

Ann “Man Mitts” Coulter would make a pretty fantastic prison girlfriend for one (or more) lucky lady(s). Maybe if she found prison love she wouldn't be so furious and awful all the time. If you too would like to meet a very special incarcerated someone, click here.

*"bakes little children in pies” is of course Latin for “isn’t a very kind person.”

Where was Adam when Ann Strangled a Puppy?

Perhaps it was in response to Ann Coulter's recent assertion that Bill Clinton is all to blame for the North Korea Missile Firings (disclaimer: I'm not asserting that previous administrations are faultless for current problems, but more the emphasis that it CLEARLY has nothing to do with the inaction of the current administration for the past 6 years). Maybe it was because Anne "jokingly" suggested "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' Creme brulee". Or possibly it was because of her February 23, 2006 speech at Indiana University where she stated, ""Liberals hate God and hate America". It is very likely it was in response to Ann's reference to 4 9/11 widow's as Harpies that are "reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis."

Regardless of why, Adam Carolla has finally answered the question, "What do you do if Ann Coulter comes knockin on your door (or calling on the phone)? Hang up on the Bitch.

Of course, I think none of the reasons/quotes above (all obtained from wikipedia) explain why Adam has beef with Ann Coulter. There is not one doubt in my mind that it's because Ann Coulter murdered a puppy on live television. She really did, i read it online. Check it out for yourself *********

(Looks like the Man upstairs is also done with Ann^^^^^)

******* The authencity and accuracy of the Bigfib.com website cannot at this time be verified. Although Scooter stands 100% behind all other statements made in this posting I have not witnessed said strangulation and must therefore warn fans of the goodtimes blog to use caution before believing everything they read. All of that said, Ann Coulter killed that puppy because he hated God & America.

^^^^^ Actual existence of billboard awaiting goodtimes verification.