Osama bin Laden Hates…Rotary Clubs?

I was flipping through Slate today and one article in particular caught my eye, “The Rotarian Menace: What does Osama have against Rotary clubs?” I was intrigued, but not just because I have visited the information table of my local Rotary Club at the state fair. No, what caught my attention is that my college roommate/favorite partner in crime and I were, at one time, Rotary Club HEROES.

In college, we did a LOT of charity work. That’s how we got mixed up with the Rotary Club (maybe that’s how they rope in all their new followers?). We were looking to raise money to help rebuild houses for the less fortunate, and the Rotary Club was willing to help. We ran coin drives, and auctions, and 5K/10K fundraiser races. The Rotary Club fell in love with us. They had never seen such “activism in college youth”. They even invited us to be guest speakers at one of their meetings. I still have the commemorative pen they gave me in appreciation. THESE are the Americans that Osama has a problem with???

Let me tell you a little bit about what goes on at a Rotary Club meeting. First off, ours were held in the dining hall of a nursing home at about 7 am (sinister, I know). When you walked in, there were a lot of elderly people in wheelchairs in the lobby just waiting for the Rotary Club to come for their meeting (since they could often engage at least a few of them in chat about the “good old days” on their way into or out of the building). We would order breakfast off the nursing home menu and chat about new and old business. Who was heading up which new volunteer project, who knew a police officer who might be interested in being a guest speaker on the topic of “Crime in Rural Maryland”. Lots of blue Rotary Club foam front trucker hats, lots of discussion on who had sold their farm, whose hardware store was having a sale, no talk about world domination or Muslim oppression…ever. I will grant you that even the most socially conscious 21 year old is going to miss a 7 am meeting or two. Maybe we missed the days where they talked about the exciting stuff. Or maybe Osama is getting some bad intel on who is and who isn’t a global threat. America knows it happens to the best of us!

Illustration Credit: Rob Donnelly