Another Way to Screw Up Your Kid

An article published in the most recent issue of the journal Social Science Quarterly suggests that the popularity of a child's name can be a predictor of tendency towards criminal behavior. Researchers found that the more unpopular a child's name for the time in which the child is growing up, the more likely the child will eventually commit a crime.

According to the journal's publisher, "Adolescents with unpopular names may be more prone to crime because they are treated differently by their peers, making it more difficult for them to form relationships. Juveniles with unpopular names may also act out because they consciously or unconsciously dislike their names."

Finally a reason for why I knocked over that liquor store! Wait...how popular was the name "Lauren" in the late 1970's and early 1980's? Oh...maybe it really was just my love of scratch-offs and whiskey.

Monkey Business

Keith Chen, an economist at Yale University, wanted to see if monkeys could be taught to use currency. After months of training, Chen had taught the monkeys that they could exchange small silver tokens for food rewards. He then observed how the monkeys would use their money to purchase their preferred snacks, would buy more of their less preferred treats if they were on sale, and would spend their fortune rather than save it for a rainy day. He also observed one monkey paying another monkey for sex. Monkeys are pretty smart. Maybe I will get one to write this blog!

* Thanks to Howlingjay for the tip and the title.

Science to Religion: Can't We All Just Get Along

The good news keeps pouring in. Yesterday the Supreme Court rule that the federal government should (ok, could) enforce greenhouse gas emissions from cars and today there is this article that AIDS has finally been cured.

There is only one minor problem, it hasn't. Climbing 10,000 feet above sea level individuals in Ethiopia with HIV/AIDS have been risking their lives to make it to the remote church of Saint Marys on Mount Entoto in order to receive the miracle cure; holy water.

But in order to seek out this treatment there are a few rules you have to follow. First off, no menstruating women, no women with wigs, and no recent sex. The biggie, the one that really gets my goat as Father Geberemedhen states, "We don't allow patients to take medication if they want to receive holy water". In other words, the one treatment that we all KNOW works must be ceased in order to seek out this miracle cure.

The point here isn't to ridicule or disapprove of those who turn to religion for help and healing. Rather the issue comes with the way in which those who turn to faith are abused, exploited, and misinformed.

Sky News correspondent Ian Woods seems to agree: "It was a scene which reminded me of the holocaust. Naked men, women and children, some of them in chains to prevent them escaping, cower in front of the men in charge in a dimly-lit room in the church of St Mary on Mount Entoto."

Chains? Excuse me? What are they escaping from?

Good News for the World, Bad News for Me

I like to drive my car to my next door neighbor's house. I enjoy leaving my 18-wheeler running in my driveway overnight, just to keep the cab nice and toasty. I like to leave a pile of old tires and plastic burning in my back yard for years at a time. These are things that I like to do and as an American, it is my right to do them, but that might not be true for long if the evil Supreme Court has its way.

Today the Supreme Court told the Environmental Protection Agency they do have the authority to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. Previously, the EPA has argued that the reason they don't regulate greenhouse gas emissions is that it isn't in their authority to do so. The Supreme Court didn't tell the EPA they HAD to crack down on emissions, they just told them that their argument for not doing so was total BS.

So very soon all the things that I enjoy doing may come to an end. Perhaps to fill my time I will go get a job at the EPA. It sounds like they do a lot of sitting around, staring out the window, and not protecting the environment. It will give me lots of time to write the next great American novel, or even better, this blog!

John McCain on Condoms: Uh, Well, Ur, Um....

John McCain doesn't know if condoms stop sexually transmitted disease. In fact he doesn't seem to know much of anything on this issue, or related ones.

Don't believe me. Check this puppy out. Seriously, go read it, it doesn't do justice to just read some snippets. You absolutely must read the whole story. It's ok. I'll wait.

For those of you who are too lazy to read the whole thing, here's the gist of it. While cruising on the Straight Talk Express (Yes, it's back in full force) McCain was asked if he believed condoms stop sexually transmitted diseases. His response? Pause, stumbling, grasping for words, followed by a "I've never gotten into these issues or thought much about them." He then asked an aide for a piece written by Senator Tom Coburn on this issue, so he could consult it for guidance only to find out that "we've lost it."

Seriously? Really? You don't know if condoms prevent STD's? I mean I'll give you some credit that condoms don't prevent all STD's (i.e. HPV) but I really am baffled as to why John McCain could not give a straight forward answer on this. Does he really not know? Or was he worried that saying that condoms do prevent STD's would anger religious conservatives who promote abstinence only policies?

Of course this story opens up to the broader story. That story being, "What the hell happened to John McCain?"

Remember in 2000 when McCain separated himself from the right-wing declaring individuals such as Jerry Falwell "Agent of Intolerance" only to declare last year (on Meet the Press):

RUSSERT: Do you believe that Jerry Falwell is still an agent of intolerance?

MCCAIN: No, I don’t. I think that Jerry Falwell can explain to you his views on this program when you have him on.

Wow. Any thoughts on this one?

Jerry Falwell, Comedian and Climatologist

Jerry Falwell blames global warming on Satan. Well, actually, he blames Satan for using the ruse of global warming to distract Christians from their true mission of evangelism. Speaking to his congregation in Lynchburg, VA, last week, Falwell said that even though some Christian leaders have been "duped" into believing the "science" of global warming, "the jury is still out" on whether humans are causing, or could stop, global warming. He added that the Bible teaches that God will maintain the Earth until Jesus returns, so Christians "should be responsible environmentalists, but not first-class nuts." And since every good speech is rounded out with a good joke, Falwell finished up with this zinger, "'An Inconvenient Truth' should have been titled 'A Convenient Untruth.'"

This is good news. God is taking care of the earth, so we can relax a little bit. I just threw 12 styrofoam containers full of glass and old hypodermic needles out my office window onto an elementary school playground. No worries! Jesus has it under control.

It is a little strange because previously Jerry Falwell has stated that "The whole (global warming) thing is created to destroy America's free enterprise system and our economic stability." So which is it? Is Satan using global warming to distract evangelism or is he using it to make America poor? Or maybe both at once? Maybe the basis of evangelism is to promote America's free enterprise system? That can't be right. Jerry Falwell boggles the mind.

And just for good measure, here are a few more Jerry Falwell gems to brighten your Thursday:

Jerry Falwell on 9/11: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

Jerry Falwell on AIDS: “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”

Jerry Falwell on Religion: “If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being”

Jerry Falwell on the separation of church and state: “The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country”

The only thing Jerry Falwell has going for him is that he doesn't like Fred Phelps:

"Fred Phelps does not give the religious right a bad name, because nobody claims kin to that guy."

Evolution Hard At Work

A duck named Stumpy was born in the UK with 4 legs. A cat named Extra was born in Australia with 26 toes (instead of the usual 20). Extra climbs faster and more efficiently than other cats and is also a better scratcher. Stumpy is going to be a TV star and therefore, won't be eaten. I don't know about you, but this smells like evolution to me. Pat Robertson is quickly coming up with a bible quote predicting the appearance of a 26-toed cat and a 4-legged duck at the end of the world while Al Gore is combing the scientific research to prove the abnormalities are caused by global warming. Too bad they are both wrong, it is simply Mother Nature, making ducks and cats better than they were before.

Now, I'm no evolutionary biologist, but these new developments have convinced me that if I have a kid, it will be born with wings and enormous talons. These attributes will enable my child to get me beers and probably write this blog. Just a heads up on some exciting things to come here at the GTB!

*Thanks to TumTum for the tip